Awfully close....
.. but not quite.
After a very close encounter with death, relating to an almost 2 weeks stay in the hospital Emergency and
Intensive Care units, I feel a desperate urge to try finding a higher meaning and purpose with life . Like: If The Lord told me he saved me for a reason. Showed me a purpose to pursue or something like that. But no - nothing. I am equally confused now. I felt betrayed though. I have always thought I had some guardian higher power, like a guardian angel looking after and sheltering me. At least it gave me clarity about that was not so.
On the other hand I definitely felt the presence of demonic evil forces entwining into my faith’s outcome as they have negatively affected our lives for years.
But the only thing I felt when I started to come to senses was total bewilderment. Like I fell out of absolute darkness. Hitting a word written on the ground in white letters that I cannot remember anymore - no traumatic horrors - no harmonious Paradise.
Not much wiser after the dreadful experience. It made me realise that my time is limited and there’s so much I would like to find the answers to before I have to go.
All I know is:I’m not ready yet. Not even close to know what I need to know.
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